Wednesday, March 12, 2014

The most difficult test to take

I took the dreaded test again a few days ago, you know that test. It seems simple enough, pee on it and wait. That's it. But for me (and so many others I know), it's the hardest test to take. But I geared up for it, expecting to get the answer I usually get, one line, no baby, try again...but this time I got 2 very vivid clear lines. I was shocked, I grabbed the user guide out of the box to make sure I read it right (cause I guess I haven't taken enough to know?), and sure enough I read it right. I'm pregnant. It seems so surreal to say that.





The path to pregnancy this time around has been extremely spiritual, and all I can say is Heavenly Father hears and answers prayers. There was no need for a fertility specialist. It's almost too good to be true. We are head over heals excited.

It all started back in November. Neil and I were at the temple, in the Celestial Room no doubt and he turns to me and says, "I think we need to start trying for another baby." Smooth move Neil, smooth move. How can you say no to that? Actually a baby was the furthest thing from my mind then. I was happy where we were and wasn't ready for baby number 4. I compromised and told him I'd go off birth control, but that's all I was willing to do. That was all he was asking for.

In December, off birth control, my period came! What the what? My body isn't normal...maybe it was just a fluke...but in January the same thing happened. I was baffled. I talked to Neil and we decided that this was probably the Lord's was of telling us(me) it's time to get going. So in February my period came again. Okay, so I'm not pregnant, but my period is regular, give or take a few days. Now I was scared, scared of getting my hopes up and ending up back where we always do, with the fertility specialist, going through our options, in our own personal Hell. So I prayed. I prayed that if we were supposed to get pregnant that it would happen without any help, I begged. I confided in Heavenly Father that it wasn't a baby I was scared of, it was going to the fertility specialist, if he would only take that out of the equation. Afterwards, I just kind of knew that this time I would get pregnant without help, I didn't know if it was me getting my hopes up, but I liked to think it was Heavenly Father reassuring me that I was doing the right thing.

When my period was late in March, I didn't give it much thought. they can be off a few days or my body's going back to it's "normal" thing. I didn't "feel" pregnant. I let a few days go by before I was at Walmart picking up some things and casually decided to grab a pregnancy test, I just wanted to know for sure that my body was going back to it's normal routine. I forgot all about the test until later and decided why not, I had to pee anyway. I took it and then saw those blessed two lines!

It may have happened sooner than Neil and I had originally planned, but we are so, so, so excited! It's going to be the longest 9 months of Emma's life! She can't stop talking about the baby and wondering if it's a boy or girl, what we're going to name it, and everything else in between.




When I get behind...

It seems like when I put off blogging, I REALLY put off blogging. To the point that I don't know where to start to catch up. But then something happens that kicks me in the butt and tells me I need need NEED to get back at it...blogging is my only form of journaling....awesome sauce, but not really.

My life is seriously perfect right now, I know, I know, everyone says that. But seriously, it is. My kids are growing up just as they should, they drive me absolutely nuts most days, but I wouldn't have it any other way. They love each other and honestly, even though there is some sibling fighting, it could be worse. They really do love each other.

Emma is now 7! It's crazy to think that in one year she will be baptized. My baby is totally gone, and in her place is my 7 year old. She still loves to sing, dance, and play violin. She's been playing the violin a lot lately for school and whatnot, it makes me happy to see her sharing her talent with everyone, because heaven knows that girl can play!

Claire just turned 4 and is still the sassiest little thing around. She always says some the the most off the wall things that you can't help but laugh at. I sure love her. She has a loving heart and the most vivid imagination. She plays and plays and plays all day long her the Lalaloopsy and princess dolls. She definitely coming out of the shell and is making lots of new friends, I love watching her grow up.

Clark is the craziest boy I know! He is always going! He still loves his mama the most and it makes my heart so happy. I love that boy and his crazy imagination. He's obsessed with superheroes, which makes Neil burst with pride. Every time he sees the Hulk he screams "HULK!!" as loud as he can. Love my bubba!

We finally have found a place we would like to settle down here in Texas (well a place we want to build and a house plan we like). It's going to be a long 5 months, but it will be nice to have a place to call our own. Life is grand, better than grand, it's more than I could have ever expected. And I know better is in the future! Here's to 2014!