A post of the rambling kind

I always seem to write what is on my mind. I presume it's because when I talk, I feel like all my thoughts get jumbled together and I can't straighten them out to form a coherent sentence, but if I take the time to think and mull them over, I write my thoughts down and, viola, they're hopefully now somewhat coherent. But, it seems that lately I've had too many thoughts going on in my small brain. There are so many things I want to write out, so I can truly think about them and ponder on what they mean to me and how I really feel about it, that I just avoid writing altogether because all the different lines of thoughts become one big, messy thought.

If you can't guess, I think a lot...like a lot a lot. I love to think, really think deeply about things. You can't ask me a serious question and have it briefly thought about then dismissed. I may never bring the subject up to you again, but the chances are that I have scoured every part of my brain to find out how I truly feel about a subject, it's pretty intense up in here...okay, probably not.

An example of this exact situation is as follows: Neil and I have been going to the Gospel Principles class lately because we have some great neighbors and friends that are starting to come back to church, so we like to go with them. It's really great for Neil and I too, because it gets back to the basics and really helps us understand how simple the gospel really is. Anyway, a few weeks ago, so probably like 3 months ago (seriously, I've been thinking about this question for 3 flipping months!) the class was asked why we believe there was ever only one Savior. The teacher proposed that there could have been a Savior for ever decade, century, etc. why just one for all time and eternity? This is something that I've never really sat down and thought about, I just assumed the answer explained itself. I didn't have an answer on that day, I thought what everyone else was saying summed up my thoughts exactly. And they were wonderful reasons, because if there was more than one it wouldn't be significant, and the likes. Which, don't get me wrong, I still believe those answers to be true 100%, and I do believe they play into why there was only one Savior, but I wanted more...I'm never satisfied, I have to find an answer that speaks to me.

So, why do I believe there was only one Savior? Well, I'm glad you asked. And don't quote me on this, this is purely my own opinion and not church doctrine in any way. I'm probably so wrong on this that it's not even funny. But I honestly believe that ONE of the reasons there was, and is, only one Savior is because he was the only one who volunteered. I guess technically there were 2, but we all know what happened with the other plan...But think about it, we were all there and we all knew what our Father in Heaven needed and wanted, and yet, Christ was the only one who stood and said that he would do exactly as his father asked. We were all given the same chance he was to volunteer, and yet we didn't. I know we would all say now that we would have done what Christ did, but the truth is, if we were placed in that situation we obviously wouldn't, because we were placed in that same situation and we didn't. Get it? Did I lose anyone is that mess? Okay, good.

I actually talked to Neil about this and he believes it is simply because Christ is the only BEGOTTEN son of God, which of course makes perfect sense as well. I believe that to also be accurate, but Neil's a smarty pants. Who knows the exact reasoning behind there only being one Savior, except Christ and God themselves? But think about it for yourself, why do you believe there was only one Savior? You may be surprised at your own thoughts.

Other things I've been thinking about in my noggin (which I will hopefully find time to jot down in a while) are as follows: My sister, I know I've done quite a few posts giving praise to different members of my family, but she's my only sister and I've been thinking about her a whole heck of a lot. My daddy (yes, I still call him daddy at times), the same explanation of my sister goes here as well. Infertility and how it still greatly affects me, this will probably come the week of April 22, because, you know, April 22-28 is National Infertility Awareness Week (NIAW) and it's time to be aware, yo. Being a stay-at-home-mom, and how I came to that choice, this stems from recent political debacles which I normally don't like to talk about but this one subject pushes a button for me. Being LDS and how I gained my testimony, and why it still rings true to me every day. My weight...I think about this a lot (like I'm sure most women unfortunately do, no matter their weight or physical fitness). I don't like where I am weight-wise, I've actually never been happy with my weight, I've always thought of myself as overweight, but now I look back at pictures from when I was younger and even though I know I will never get that body back, I realize how screwed up my thinking was...but I know I'm now overweight and after baby bean comes i'm going to rectify that.

See, I think a lot. I don't talk too much, because I'm always thinking...