It's Official

This boy has an official name. On July 21, Neil blessed our boy and officially named him Clark Neil Thomas, no take backs. It was a wonderful day at my parents house and we were surrounded by our loved ones.

The money shot.

MAN! I'm sorry, but isn't my man a looker?! I can't get enough of him. At his two month check up he weighed in at a whooping 9 lbs. 7 oz.! He's chunkin' up and lookin' good! He's definitely loves his momma, and he will smile for you, but he makes you work for it. He knows his smiles are priceless so he doesn't give them away to just anybody. 

I need to start talking about something else besides Clarkie Bean, but do you blame me for going on and on about him? He melts my heart and makes me want 100 more babies. I'm one lucky lady to have three wonderful children, because they all melt my heart. And to prove that Neil (because I am the worst at taking pictures) takes pictures of our other children...

Okay, so I'm taking credit for this one, I did actually take this picture, but it was a feat!

How could that smile NOT make you melt?

P.S. Do you like how I just copy pictures from our facebook...yep that's how I roll.

A Big Fat No

That's what the pregnancy test told me when I nicely asked it if I was indeed pregnant. Nada. It's weird because this month I was okay with it...somewhat. I had a feeling before we even started that this month wasn't the month for me. I think that was one of Heavenly Father's tender mercies for me in my time of need, you know, to let me know and have time to accept the fact that I'm not pregnant before the dreaded negative comes. I didn't even cry when I found out, I almost did a few times, but I didn't. I was proud of myself. I've honestly had many feelings about this process, most of which are too personal to share, but I've known that this process is going to take longer than I want it to take, and other little intuitions. I'm thankful for those, they let me know that my loving Heavenly Father is still guiding me through this. He's still listening to my pleas, and that he still loves me.

Now Neil and I have had multiple talks about where to go if this did happen, what our choices are and what we want to do next. We've researched everything IVF entails and have decided that, at least for right now, that's not the best option for us. With me in school and juggling everything else we're juggling, I honestly don't think we could do it and stay sain. So, with that being said, we're going to do the injectable meds. We start the whole process on Monday morning. I don't know what it all entails, so I'm a little nervous about the whole process. All The nurse said was you do multiple ultrasounds and daily injections until you're ready for insemination. Sounds so pleasant, right? Yeah, I don't think so either. I have to keep my eye on the end product...another precious baby. Neil and I have decided that we will do this for one, maybe two months and then go from there. But I don't want to think about that. Let's just hope this month works. Think happy thoughts...

Neil's Rantings

Today we went to the andrology lab at the U for a 4th attempt of IUI (intrauterine insemination). I really hope it works this time, because the next options cost quite a bit more. Regardless, we will do what it takes to get pregnant.

This is not my first rodeo. Today was the eighth time I have provided a sample of semen for some lab to clean and prepare for insemination. It remains to be one of the most awkward feelings I have ever felt, that is, walking out of "the room" where I had just "provided" a sample. Everyone knows what I just did! I can feel their stinging eyes on me as I walk into the waiting room to sit back down with Ali. The other thing I hate thinking about, is seeing the comfortable looking couch in this little room that seems to be saying to me, "Guess how many guys I've been with?". Let's just say I cover the whole area with towels before I do anything. Even worse, was The Dr. we saw when we were trying for Claire, had pictures of Christ hung on the walls right before you walk in to the collection room. That was wonderful! All in all, my part of the IUI is awkward, unlike Ali's fun time she get's to have once they clean and prepare the sample! Let's just say, I'm not jealous.

I never thought that it would be hard to have children. I remember growing up and hearing in the media how you're not supposed to have unprotected sex, because you will get pregnant! I only wished it was that easy! I especially hate shows like "16 and Pregnant", because that's a kick in the face to Ali and I. Some stupid little kids that don't even know what love is and don't even want a baby, are so easily blessed with one? Where is the justice in that? I hate it! The funny thing is though, Ali is obsessed with that show. I don't know how she can watch it.

I guess the one positive thing for couples struggling with infertility is they have no need for contraceptions of any sorts. Saves money, saves time, and makes things easier.

If it does work this time, I hope it's a boy. I have two beautiful and rambunctious girls. A boy would help with our current ratio. So many hormones already..

Well, this is all I have to say for now. Until next time...

-Neil

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