The most difficult test to take

I took the dreaded test again a few days ago, you know that test. It seems simple enough, pee on it and wait. That's it. But for me (and so many others I know), it's the hardest test to take. But I geared up for it, expecting to get the answer I usually get, one line, no baby, try again...but this time I got 2 very vivid clear lines. I was shocked, I grabbed the user guide out of the box to make sure I read it right (cause I guess I haven't taken enough to know?), and sure enough I read it right. I'm pregnant. It seems so surreal to say that.

The path to pregnancy this time around has been extremely spiritual, and all I can say is Heavenly Father hears and answers prayers. There was no need for a fertility specialist. It's almost too good to be true. We are head over heals excited.

It all started back in November. Neil and I were at the temple, in the Celestial Room no doubt and he turns to me and says, "I think we need to start trying for another baby." Smooth move Neil, smooth move. How can you say no to that? Actually a baby was the furthest thing from my mind then. I was happy where we were and wasn't ready for baby number 4. I compromised and told him I'd go off birth control, but that's all I was willing to do. That was all he was asking for.

In December, off birth control, my period came! What the what? My body isn't normal...maybe it was just a fluke...but in January the same thing happened. I was baffled. I talked to Neil and we decided that this was probably the Lord's was of telling us(me) it's time to get going. So in February my period came again. Okay, so I'm not pregnant, but my period is regular, give or take a few days. Now I was scared, scared of getting my hopes up and ending up back where we always do, with the fertility specialist, going through our options, in our own personal Hell. So I prayed. I prayed that if we were supposed to get pregnant that it would happen without any help, I begged. I confided in Heavenly Father that it wasn't a baby I was scared of, it was going to the fertility specialist, if he would only take that out of the equation. Afterwards, I just kind of knew that this time I would get pregnant without help, I didn't know if it was me getting my hopes up, but I liked to think it was Heavenly Father reassuring me that I was doing the right thing.

When my period was late in March, I didn't give it much thought. they can be off a few days or my body's going back to it's "normal" thing. I didn't "feel" pregnant. I let a few days go by before I was at Walmart picking up some things and casually decided to grab a pregnancy test, I just wanted to know for sure that my body was going back to it's normal routine. I forgot all about the test until later and decided why not, I had to pee anyway. I took it and then saw those blessed two lines!

It may have happened sooner than Neil and I had originally planned, but we are so, so, so excited! It's going to be the longest 9 months of Emma's life! She can't stop talking about the baby and wondering if it's a boy or girl, what we're going to name it, and everything else in between.

Geddy Up, Cowboy!

Has it felt like it's been forever since I've updated this thing of mine? Probably because it really has been. Whew...but we're back...I hope.

Life has been more than hectic for the last few weeks-getting our house ready to sell, finding a place to live in Texas, getting all the itinerary ready to go for our move, finding movers(!!!!), getting our butts down here in Texas, and moving into our new house....a very long few weeks. But in all actuality, it went by way, way too fast.

Texas is good, but it's just not home. I know it's only been a couple of days, but I'm missing mi casa (not my townhouse...believe you me, but my home in general). Everyone here is extremely friendly and very welcoming, and our ward...don't even get me started. I think this ward was picked just for us. It's a breath of fresh air.

A few things I have learned from our extremely short time here:
*In Texas it's not about Diet Coke, it's all about Diet Dr. Pepper...not kidding it's EVERYWHERE! I'm not complaining, I love both so it's nice to now have the option. Diet Dr. Pepper is even at McDonald's yo.
*Diet Coke here tastes really funky...I don't like it out of the fountain, it's a bummer.
*Texans are very aggressive drivers...it can get a little scary.
*Their freeways are CRAZY!
*I have yet to see a family outside playing together in their front yard...
*Restaurants use Styrofoam cups. I hate it, but you need it or else your ice melts and your drink goes warm within minutes.
*If you want to play outside it needs to be done in the morning, it gets too hot and muggy.
*Donut shops everywhere.
*Rain comes hard and fast.
*Strangers aren't afraid to parent your children. It's really interesting to be out in public and hear a complete stranger tell you child to do/not do something and then give them their reasoning. This has happened on more than one occasion. I just laugh it off, they don't mean any harm by it and they aren't rude about it.
*I get called all sorts of fun names...sweetheart, sweetie, ma'am, the list could go on.

Picture Time!

My Claire Bear

My sweet, sweet Claire. She goes 0 to 60 in .5 seconds flat. I love her so much, but at the same time she is my most challenging child. I can already imagine what the teenage years entail and I'm scared.

I can already tell too, though, that she will tend be more of an "outcast" per say. She's just content to be by herself for the most part. Even so, she wants friends so badly. She loves playing with little girls and is coming out of her little box more and more all the time.

Which is why it makes me so sad when these girls that she tries so hard to be friends with tell her things such as, "You're not my friend," "You can't play with us," or,"You can't come in the house ha ha ha ha ha ha." I try my hardest to stay out of it, because honestly I don't think Claire really gets everything they are saying to her.

But I do, and for goodness sake they are only 3, when did this start to happen so young?! It wouldn't break my heart if it only happened occasionally, but it happens more often than not. All Claire wants is a friend.

Maybe it cuts so deep because that was me as a child. All I wanted was a friend, but the neighbor girls (one of which was my cousin), treated me so badly and berated me to no end, and yet, I still hung around them and put up with it. And eventually I started believing everything they told me. I believed I was ugly, stupid, and that nobody wanted to be my friend. I don't want my Claire to feel as badly as I did throughout childhood. She deserves more than that.

Now, I know more than anyone that Claire can be difficult to reason with and play with, and as a child this can be an absolute deal breaker at times, but to taunt is crossing the line, in my opinion.

Oh, my Claire. I never thought I could hurt so much for another person. One of the many joys of being a mom.

Really?

It's been over a month since I last posted? How pathetic am I? It's probably because our lives are fairly boring these days. Just filled with school (Emma and Neil), work (Neil), and looking good (all my beauties). I think it's safe to say that fall has officially reared it's head, but that's okay. Fall is my favorite time of the year. I just absolutely LOVE the feeling it brings and the smell of fall.

Can you believe Clark is going to be a whole 5 months old this week?! Not going to lie, it makes me kind of sad. It's a love/hate kind of thing. He's Mr. Rollie Pollie now, loves to laugh and smile, and is getting so big you wouldn't believe.

Claire is still Claire. She is definitely my child that teaches me the most these days. I love that girl to death, but she's Claire...that's really the only word to describe her. But really, she's absolutely beautiful and loves her brother and sister so much. She tells me multiple times a day that she loves me. Just because. I love it. And listening to her talk to her "Clarkie Bean" and comfort him would make a grown man smile.

And Emma...what to say about her...she's growing up into such a beautiful lady. She makes friends everywhere she goes and she has so much love for everyone around her. She loves her brother and sister and is still the best big sister anyone could ask her. She loves school and is so stinking smart. She still loves violin and plays beautifully, she's excited to be playing for our Primary program next Sunday and has invited everyone she knows.

Neil's still,working like a mad man Andy going to school full time. He's a flipping genius and great and everything he tries.

And me, I'm still kicking and enjoying my family. I've lost 6 pounds (more to come later) and finally starting to get the hang of this weight loss thing.

Life is good, it's actually better than good, it's grand.

He loves his fingers, especially his thumb.

My pretty girl's school picture.

The mural Neil did for work. Yep, he's amazing!

Love that boy!

Claire adores Grandma Sue's chickens

Yep, picture overload...and I could have added more.