The most difficult test to take

I took the dreaded test again a few days ago, you know that test. It seems simple enough, pee on it and wait. That's it. But for me (and so many others I know), it's the hardest test to take. But I geared up for it, expecting to get the answer I usually get, one line, no baby, try again...but this time I got 2 very vivid clear lines. I was shocked, I grabbed the user guide out of the box to make sure I read it right (cause I guess I haven't taken enough to know?), and sure enough I read it right. I'm pregnant. It seems so surreal to say that.

The path to pregnancy this time around has been extremely spiritual, and all I can say is Heavenly Father hears and answers prayers. There was no need for a fertility specialist. It's almost too good to be true. We are head over heals excited.

It all started back in November. Neil and I were at the temple, in the Celestial Room no doubt and he turns to me and says, "I think we need to start trying for another baby." Smooth move Neil, smooth move. How can you say no to that? Actually a baby was the furthest thing from my mind then. I was happy where we were and wasn't ready for baby number 4. I compromised and told him I'd go off birth control, but that's all I was willing to do. That was all he was asking for.

In December, off birth control, my period came! What the what? My body isn't normal...maybe it was just a fluke...but in January the same thing happened. I was baffled. I talked to Neil and we decided that this was probably the Lord's was of telling us(me) it's time to get going. So in February my period came again. Okay, so I'm not pregnant, but my period is regular, give or take a few days. Now I was scared, scared of getting my hopes up and ending up back where we always do, with the fertility specialist, going through our options, in our own personal Hell. So I prayed. I prayed that if we were supposed to get pregnant that it would happen without any help, I begged. I confided in Heavenly Father that it wasn't a baby I was scared of, it was going to the fertility specialist, if he would only take that out of the equation. Afterwards, I just kind of knew that this time I would get pregnant without help, I didn't know if it was me getting my hopes up, but I liked to think it was Heavenly Father reassuring me that I was doing the right thing.

When my period was late in March, I didn't give it much thought. they can be off a few days or my body's going back to it's "normal" thing. I didn't "feel" pregnant. I let a few days go by before I was at Walmart picking up some things and casually decided to grab a pregnancy test, I just wanted to know for sure that my body was going back to it's normal routine. I forgot all about the test until later and decided why not, I had to pee anyway. I took it and then saw those blessed two lines!

It may have happened sooner than Neil and I had originally planned, but we are so, so, so excited! It's going to be the longest 9 months of Emma's life! She can't stop talking about the baby and wondering if it's a boy or girl, what we're going to name it, and everything else in between.